10 Surefire Reasons Why He Suddenly Stopped Calling
One of the most difficult things a woman goes through in her dating life is when the man of her dreams suddenly stops calling her. You thought you were soul mates, you totally clicked, there was amazing chemistry, you had a ton of things in common… and you could have sworn he was just as smitten as you were, until BAM, he goes AWOL. It may confuse you to no end with tears, but there is a reason why he is not contacting you or answering your calls. Below is a list of those reasons, and what you can do about them.
He’s not calling because….
1. He wanted no more than “one thing”
Women naturally become more emotionally attached to a man when things start to get physically intimate. Many men on the other hand, can leave those feelings at the door when they leave. You were a booty call. When he does eventually call, if ever, consider it a Round Two of the same scenario.
2. He’s too shy, nervous, or insecure
He may think you are amazing, but he hasn’t called because he’s been hurt in the past and is scared you will be just another woman to stomp on his heart in the end. He may feel this way, but if he’s really that head over heels, he will choke down his insecurities and take a chance with you. No man worth your time is going to let past issues or inner fears stop him from pursuing the woman of his dreams.
3. He’s seeing someone else
If you were not exclusive when he stopped calling, he may have met someone else and is now seeing her. This hurts to imagine, but unfortunately, your only job is to move on. If you are in a committed relationship, he may be cheating. A man who would betray you in that way is not worth one more moment of your time once you call his bluff.
4. He is lost, disabled, locked up, or dead
This is definitely a worst-case scenario. Unless the above is the case and he can’t get to a pay phone, cell phone (his own, or borrowed), he has no internet access, no way to write a letter in the mail, no way to send a verbal message to you through a friend, and no way of transporting himself to your front door, he simply does not care enough to make the effort. This usually means that he is just not that into you. Don’t wait another minute by the phone.
5. He’s having second thoughts
If after romantically expressing his mutual interest in you over a few dates, he woke up and realized that he may not be that interested in you after all, this may be a valid thought, but any man with a sense of responsibility, integrity and chivalry, will do the painful deed of picking up the phone anyway to let you know what’s on his mind. If he doesn’t, he lacks maturity and doesn’t care enough about your feelings. This isn’t 9th grade.
6. He’s extremely busy with work or family issues
This may be the reason he hasn’t called lately, but if he gives you this excuse and doesn’t promptly follow up with even a three-word text to let you know when he will next give you a call, then take it for exactly what it is: An excuse. Why? Because he is just not that bent on holding onto you. Find a man who will stop at nothing to make sure you don’t give up on him and move on, while he’s dealing with his extremely jam-packed agenda.
7. He hates talking on the phone
This is not an excuse, it’s a re-worded way of saying he just doesn’t care enough to call. He can text, IM, send an e-mail…the options are endless in this day and age. No matter how much he hates talking on the phone, if it means getting to see you, he’ll jump on the phone and dial STAT if he cares.
8. He needs some space
Yes, a man has a right to the freedom of having some time for himself, time to hang out with his friends, etc, but if he doesn’t want to lose you in the process, he will let you know he needs this designated time, and inform you as to when you should expect to hear from him next.
9. He’s afraid of his feelings for you
A lot of advice columns state that a man can sometimes “freak out” when he realizes a relationship is getting serious and “needs time to gather his emotions”. I’m not a man, so I can’t speak for one regarding this emotion, but bottom line, a man with character and class will at least send you a text to say hello in the meantime.
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10. He’s “letting you down easy”
Ladies, this is not letting you down easy, it is letting you die a slow, painful, agonizing relationship death. If he’s not on the phone making it quick and painless, he is doing nothing but being a jerk.
What you need to do:
1. Stop calling him
Don’t call, text, or message him. Make him miss you. In this time, he will make a final decision as to whether or not he is really okay with your absence. If you still don’t hear from him, you have your final answer: He wasn’t The One.
2. Keep your options open
Don’t deny other opportunities to date people when the guy you like is not making an effort to keep in touch. If he misses his chance with you, this is not your fault. You have a life besides sitting by the phone, waiting and crying. Get out there and enjoy your independence. When you do finally find that man who is responsible, kind, and committed to you and your happiness, you will be so glad you didn’t waste another minute with these Phone-O-Phobic men.